Attentional Activities -
Partnered attention
Duration
1 minute (plus discussion time)
Recommended amount of people
Minimum 2, best with 4-6
Skills
Slowing down, curiosity, recognition of interconnectedness, critical thinking, vulnerability
Materials
None, unless you wish to write your insights down (in which case: paper and writing material
Preferable setting
Anywhere most convenient to you, where sitting across from each other is possible. The setting should have limited distractions, but a completely silent room is also not necessary.
What?
A silent moment to practice the discipline of paying attention to our surroundings.
Note: This activity consists of two subjects: a natural setting and another person. The instructions and reflective questions differ slightly for each subject, so you are free to decide for yourself whether you want to do just one version of this practice, or both.
Why?
In a fast-paced world filled with distractions, it’s easy to slip into living life on autopilot. The places and people that are present in our daily routines are familiar and predictable, so why treat them with a special sense of attention?
Although we don’t consciously ask ourselves this question, we may find that over time our behaviour reflects such an attitude. We start mentally glossing over the people around us; taking their presence for granted and dismissing them. Perhaps what we need is to practice the mental habit of paying attention, to prevent the objectification of the world around us, and the people in it.
As such, the exercise detailed below aims to give us an opportunity to slow down enough to simply stop and observe and think critically about how we perceive what we are seeing.
Who knows, perhaps you’ll notice something you haven’t seen before…
Instructions
1
Find a partner to sit across from.
2
This exercise consists of two stages. In the first stage, set a timer for 15 seconds. Without talking, take those 15 seconds to simply observe one another. During this time (and in a reasonable and respectful manner), challenge yourself to observe the other person in their entirety, instead of just maintaining eye-contact.
3
When time is up, share your observations about the other person with the rest of the group, allowing everybody a speaking turn.
4
When everybody has shared, move on to stage two. This time, set a timer for 45 seconds and repeat the observation process.
5
Finally, share your thoughts and observations during this process once more. Although you may just be sharing details about the other person you noticed with one another, try to discuss the underlying significance of your observations and your thought process.
Consider the following reflection questions:
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How does it feel to openly observe somebody and to be observed in return?
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Were you able to fix your entire attention on your partner?
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What was the nature of your observation? (E.g., was there judgement in your observation? Did you simply observe your partner and focus on taking in their essence, or did you shift the focus back to yourself by comparing yourself to them or by focusing on what your partner may be thinking of you?
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Did anything surprise you during this process? (Either regarding your behaviour or something you noticed about your partner)
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If any, what characteristics of your partner did you pay most attention to. Why do you think that is?
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Did the two stages of observation feel different to you? How so?